‘Zerts’ are what I call desserts. ‘Trée-trées’ are entrées. I call sandwiches ‘sammies’, ‘sandoozles’ or ‘Adam Sandlers’. Air conditioners are ‘cool blasterz’ with a ‘z’ - I don’t know where that came from. I call cakes ‘big ole cookies’. I call noodles ‘long-ass rice’. Fried chicken is ‘fry-fry chicky-chick’. Chicken parm is ‘chicky-chicky-parm-parm’. Chicken cacciatore? ‘Chicky-cacc’. I call eggs ‘pre-birds’, or ‘future birds’. Root beer is ‘super water’. Tortillas are ‘bean blankets’. And I call forks ‘food rakes’.– Tom Haverford - Parks and Recreation
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