mostbutnotall

Photo

Tue, 14 Feb 2012 12:01:13 +0000

Mr. James: "Dave, whenever I have a bee in my bonnet... I find it helps to take my hat off."

Tue, 14 Feb 2012 01:49:33 +0000

Mr. James: "Dave, whenever I have a bee in my bonnet... I find it helps to take my hat off."
Dave: "Meaning...?"
Mr. James: "Meaning I take my hat off, the bee flies out... do I need to draw you a picture?"

"Big Day", NewsRadio (S01E05)

Tue, 14 Feb 2012 01:31:33 +0000

[Matthew is worried he's going to get "The Shaft" - a bonus of zero dollars.]
Bill: Say, Joe, who's the black private dick that's a sex machine for all the chicks?
Joe: Bill, I think that would be Shaft.
[Matthew notices and looks up.]
Bill: And who's the cat that won't cop out when there's danger all about?
Joe: Again, Bill, we're talkin' 'bout Shaft.
Bill: Damn right.
Joe: You know, they say that cat Shaft is one bad mother-
Matthew: Shut up, you guys!
Mr. James: [entering] Hey, what's goin' on?
Bill: We're just talking about Shaft.
Mr. James: I can dig it.

dailyseinfeld: George: Hey, if I were a gigolo, how much do you...

Mon, 13 Feb 2012 20:31:24 +0000

dailyseinfeld:

George: Hey, if I were a gigolo, how much do you think I could charge a night?
Elaine: Here, or in Japan?
George: What’s the difference?
Elaine: Well, the Japanese are more enlightened. They can see beyond the physical.
George: Forget Japan, how much would you pay?
Elaine: Oh, I don’t know. A dollar?
George: I think I am worth at least 300.
Elaine (laughs): I don’t think so!
George: Hey, it’s for all night!
Elaine: I know!
George: You are demeaning me.
Elaine: You are a gigolo!
George: Well, you hired me. I am the victim here.
Elaine: Did I force you into this line?
George: Yes. You and every woman like you.

(via The Suzie)

Video

Mon, 13 Feb 2012 13:06:15 +0000

"Heroin isn’t a drug Stu! It’s a medicine! It stops the dead babies walking across the ceiling!"

Mon, 13 Feb 2012 13:03:54 +0000

“Heroin isn’t a drug Stu! It’s a medicine! It stops the dead babies walking across the ceiling!”

- Richard Herring - This Morning With Richard Not Judy (TMWRNJ)

Video

Mon, 13 Feb 2012 13:03:14 +0000

If you look there, right, you see there’s a music stand, but...

Mon, 13 Feb 2012 12:19:37 +0000

If you look there, right, you see there’s a music stand, but there’s no music on it. So, presumably what they’re doing is some sort of jazz piece. Some kind of improvised thing. Also, there’s a lot of eye contact between the dog and the kitten there, which would support that idea. Like he’s looking at him going, “I’m going into A now,” and he’s going, “Yes fine,” adjusting accordingly. So a dog and a kitten there, playing some sort of improvised music at a piano. That kitten up there, as I said, not involved in that. I think that’s because that kitten probably had a much more formal musical training. You know, it would be all right with structured works, but it can’t adapt to this kind of free form environment.

"Have you ever heard the expression “When life gives you lemons you make lemonade then throw it in..."

Mon, 13 Feb 2012 01:21:28 +0000

“Have you ever heard the expression “When life gives you lemons you make lemonade then throw it in the face of the person who gave you lemons until they give you the oranges you wanted in the first place”?”

- Bill McNeal, NewsRadio.

"Generally speaking, you don’t need any extra incentive to murder a dry cleaner."

Mon, 13 Feb 2012 01:00:44 +0000

“Generally speaking, you don’t need any extra incentive to murder a dry cleaner.”

- Jerry, in The Big Salad

Spurs Opta stats vs Newcastle

Sun, 12 Feb 2012 21:33:43 +0000

onlyonehotspur:

The performance of the day in the Premier League yesterday was definitely Tottenham Hotspurs’ win over Newcastle United. It was not just a win, it was a statement that Spurs are a force to be reckoned with. We’ve got a bit of a treat for Spurs fans today as we’ve taken some screen shots from our Quick Stats area in our Opta Stats Centre (Subscribe Now!) to show you just exactly how well Spurs performed yesterday.

Defence

Scott Parker continues to be a one man defensive block to the opposition. He’s everywhere in that middle third. As you can see above he’s made the most tackles and the most ground duels. He’s also won an impressive 6/7 tackles and 11/16 ground duels. The team as a whole averaged a tackle win percentage of 88% – again very impressive.

Possession

Luka Modric had 120 touches of the ball in this game, beating off Ekotto and Walker. The fullbacks playing a prominent role for Spurs as they were the next two players who touched the ball the most. Niko Kranjcar lost possession the most and Luka Modric wasn’t far behind however these two players had a creative role so they would always attempt the more difficult passes.

Assou-Ekotto scored a goal but also won the ball back the most for Spurs Vs Newcastle. He won possession back for Spurs on eleven occasions and won the most in defence as well as in midfield. Another excellent display for the full-back.

Passing

An unbelievable Pass Accuracy for Spurs vs Newcastle – 89%. Even the strikers, renowned to have lower passing accuracies, averaged 95% (Adebayor) and 96% (Saha) which is superb. Luka Modric made the most passes with 99 and was accurate with 85 of them (Walker and Ekotto not far behind). They were impressive on the whole with Bale, Kranjcar, King and Dawson who all had pass accuracies over 90% as well as sub Ryan Nelson. The other two substitutes Lennon and Defoe each had a pass accuracy of 100%.

The key to winning is keeping the ball and Spurs did this. However it’s more important to do create something when you have the ball and our next image will illustrate this.

Creativity

We can only really talk about Emmanuel Adebayor here. He’s created six chances and four of them resulted in goal assists. OptaJoe tweeted that this was the first time that anyone had achieved this since 2009 when Cesc Fabregas did it for Arsenal. Louis Saha also capped off his two goal display with an assist for his creative partner Adebayor. These four assists also moved Adebayor to 10 assists for the season and he’s now second in the overall total assists in League behind David Silva of Manchester City.

Attack

Adebayor again the man to talk about. Six shots in total with two on target. New signing Louis Saha had three shots and two of them resulted in goals which enabled him to achieve a chance creation and shot accuracy of 67%. Please note that blocked shots are not included in the shot accuracy and chance conversion stats. They are included for info purposes only.

Overall Spurs only had seven shots on target and scored with five of them, efficiency at it’s highest and that is what you can call this Spurs side: Efficient. They now can boast so many match winners and yesterday didn’t have to rely on their star player Bale. They also have Defoe, Lennon, Modric and have Van der Vaart to come back into the fray yet so they have an embarrassment of riches. The addition of Nelson is shrewd to cover for King and their midfield boasts Parker and Livermore who have both been impressive. We, at EPLIndex.com, feel that this is Spurs best chance to have a go at the title and if they continue to play as they are the top two will drop points in the run in and Spurs need to be in position to take advantage of any hiccups. This title race, isn’t all about Manchester just yet.

awesome site.

"Let me tell you something, funny boy… You know that little stamp? The one that says New York..."

Sun, 12 Feb 2012 15:51:43 +0000

“Let me tell you something, funny boy… You know that little stamp? The one that says New York Public Library? Well, that may not mean anything to you, but that means a lot to me. One whole helluva lot. Sure, go ahead, laugh if you want to. I’ve seen your type before — flashy, making the scene, flaunting convention. Yeah, I know what you’re thinking… Why’s this guy making such a big stink about old library books? Let me give you a hint, junior. Maybe we can live without libraries, people like you and me…. Maybe. Sure, we’re too old to change the world. What about that kid, sitting down, opening a book right now in a branch of the local library and finding pictures of pee-pees and wee-wees in The Cat in the Hat and The Five Chinese Brothers. Doesn’t he deserve better? Look, if you think this is about overdue fines and missing books, you’d better think again. This is about that kid’s right to read a book without getting his mind warped. Or maybe that turns you on, Seinfeld… Maybe that’s how you get your kicks… You and your goodtime buddies… I’ve got a flash for you, joy boy. Partytime is over.”

- Lt. Bookman, in The Library

"I don’t trust this guy. I think he re-gifted, and then he de-gifted, and now he’s using..."

Sun, 12 Feb 2012 15:42:37 +0000

“I don’t trust this guy. I think he re-gifted, and then he de-gifted, and now he’s using an upstairs invite as a springboard to a Super Bowl sex romp.”

- Jerry, about Tim Whatley, in The Label Maker

Walk

Sun, 12 Feb 2012 14:52:00 +0000

Pretty much perfect conditions today, a chill in the air, but not cold as you walked, and most importantly the wind wasn’t draining. Temperature felt like it was dropping at the end so distance was about right really.

"Sometimes when I think you’re the shallowest man I’ve ever met, you somehow manage to..."

Sun, 12 Feb 2012 10:21:00 +0000

“Sometimes when I think you’re the shallowest man I’ve ever met, you somehow manage to drain a little more out of the pool.”

- Elaine, to Jerry, in The Implant

Super Karate Monkey Death Car (by pauzo)

Sun, 12 Feb 2012 02:09:00 +0000

Super Karate Monkey Death Car (by pauzo)

NewsRadio - Pilot (by apocalyptichybrid2)

Sun, 12 Feb 2012 01:57:00 +0000

NewsRadio - Pilot (by apocalyptichybrid2)

"This peach is sub-par."

Sun, 12 Feb 2012 00:57:46 +0000

“This peach is sub-par.”

- Kramer, in The Mango

"Well, birthdays are merely symbolic of how another year’s gone by and how little we’ve..."

Sat, 11 Feb 2012 21:03:46 +0000

“Well, birthdays are merely symbolic of how another year’s gone by and how little we’ve grown. No matter how desperate we are that someday a better self will emerge, each flicker of the candles on the cake we know it’s not to be. That for the rest of our sad, wretched, pathetic lives, this is who we are to the bitter end. Inevitably, irrevocably. Happy birthday? No such thing.”

- Jerry, trying not to be funny, in The Visa

"Looking at cleavage is like looking at the sun. You don’t stare at it. You get a sense and..."

Sat, 11 Feb 2012 20:30:38 +0000

“Looking at cleavage is like looking at the sun. You don’t stare at it. You get a sense and then look away.”

- Jerry, in The Shoes