mostbutnotall

All of the Bill/Dave/Cane scenes from Newsradio 2x09, “The...

Sun, 27 May 2012 22:20:02 +0100

All of the Bill/Dave/Cane scenes from Newsradio 2x09, “The Cane.”

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Sun, 27 May 2012 20:17:40 +0100

"I thought this was the Eurovision Song Contest…"

Sun, 27 May 2012 20:07:09 +0100

“I thought this was the Eurovision Song Contest…”

- Will Ferrell, when he found out that he was in the Rest of the World team for Soccer Aid 2012.

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Sat, 26 May 2012 23:25:54 +0100

Elaine: Bah bah baaah, Boo doo bah bah bah, boo doo waaaah,...

Sat, 26 May 2012 23:25:27 +0100

Elaine: Bah bah baaah, Boo doo bah bah bah, boo doo waaaah, waah, waaaah…
Jerry: Hey, could you do me a favor? [pause] Could you shut-up?
Elaine: Hey guess what? This window doesn’t work.
Jerry: I hate rental cars. Nothin’ ever works: the window doesn’t work, the radio doesn’t work… and it smells like a cheap hooker…
[pause] Or is that you?
Elaine: Gimme ten bucks and find out…

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Sat, 26 May 2012 19:30:00 +0100

"Apparently the eighteenth century polymath Thomas Young was the last person to have read all the..."

Sat, 26 May 2012 00:18:52 +0100

“Apparently the eighteenth century polymath Thomas Young was the last person to have read all the books published in his lifetime. That means he would have read all the Shakespeare, and all the Greek and Roman classics and all the theology and all the philosophy and all the science. But the same man today, a man who had read all the books published today, would have had to have read all of Dan Brown’s novels, two volumes of Chris Moyles’ autobiography, The World According to Clarkson by Jeremy Clarkson… his mind would be awash with bad metaphors, unsustainable reactionary opinion, one long anecdote about the time that Comedy Dave put pound coins in the urinal. In short, the man who had read everything published today would be more stupid than a man who had read nothing.”

- Stewart Lee

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Thu, 24 May 2012 23:13:12 +0100

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Wed, 23 May 2012 13:40:56 +0100

Mr. James thinks he bought one of the props from Basic...

Wed, 23 May 2012 13:40:29 +0100

Mr. James thinks he bought one of the props from Basic Instinct. “No… no, that’s not the right one…”

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Wed, 23 May 2012 13:36:08 +0100

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Wed, 23 May 2012 13:31:58 +0100

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Wed, 23 May 2012 13:29:48 +0100

Not been out for a couple of weeks. Bluebells have gone in most...

Wed, 23 May 2012 12:04:13 +0100

Not been out for a couple of weeks. Bluebells have gone in most places, but still gorgeous out on a brief walk last night.

Yes Minister..

Wed, 23 May 2012 01:41:46 +0100

Hacker: Who else is in this department?
Sir Humphrey: Well briefly, sir, I am the Permanent Under Secretary of State, known as the Permanent Secretary. Woolley here is your Principal Private Secretary. I too have a Principal Private Secretary and he is the Principal Private Secretary to the Permanent Secretary. Directly responsible to me are ten Deputy Secretaries, 87 Under Secretaries and 219 Assistant Secretaries. Directly responsible to the Principal Private Secretaries are plain Private Secretaries, and the Prime Minister will be appointing two Parliamentary Under-Secretaries and you will be appointing your own Parliamentary Private Secretary.
Hacker: Can they all type?
Sir Humphrey: None of us can type. Mrs Mackay types: she's the secretary.
Hacker: Pity, we could have opened an agency.
Sir Humphrey: Very droll, Minister.
Hacker: I suppose they all say that, do they?
Sir Humphrey: Certainly not Minister. Not quite all...

Kenneth Williams - The Marrow Song

Tue, 22 May 2012 01:12:00 +0100

Kenneth Williams - The Marrow Song

Bill Pertwee asks the BBC for a job, 1957. Result: 10 years of...

Tue, 22 May 2012 01:11:38 +0100

Bill Pertwee asks the BBC for a job, 1957. Result: 10 years of Beyond Our Ken and Round The Horne, followed by Dad’s Army

"Omies and palones of the jury, vada well at the eek of the poor ome who stands before you, his..."

Tue, 22 May 2012 01:11:12 +0100

“Omies and palones of the jury, vada well at the eek of the poor ome who stands before you, his lallies trembling.”

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Tue, 22 May 2012 01:11:00 +0100

"My Lords! Your Grace! Your Eminence! Dukes, Earls, Viscounts, Vanguards! Boeing 707s!..."

Tue, 22 May 2012 01:10:15 +0100

““My Lords! Your Grace! Your Eminence! Dukes, Earls, Viscounts, Vanguards! Boeing 707s! Ladies-in-waiting! Ladies who’ve given up waitin’! Right Honourables! Downright dishonourables! Granny and the twins! Barons titular! Barons hereditary! Baron’s Court, Hammersmith, South Ealing, all stations half way - be upstanding and raise your glasses, the toast is the Sovereign; with which I would like to couple the half a crown, the Rose and Crown, the Queen’s Head, the King’s Arms, the Duke of Westmoreland’s kidneys—”
“‘Ere, where’s all this leading?”
“Ladies and gentlemen, Round the Horne!””

- Hugh Paddick and Kenneth Williams open series 4 episode 13 of Round the Horne, “Five Go Mad in Ancient Rome”. From May 1968.