mostbutnotall

Stewart Lee

On a Saturday

Apparently the eighteenth century polymath Thomas Young was the last person to have read all the books published in his lifetime. That means he would have read all the Shakespeare, and all the Greek and Roman classics and all the theology and all the philosophy and all the science. But the same man today, a man who had read all the books published today, would have had to have read all of Dan Brown’s novels, two volumes of Chris Moyles’ autobiography, The World According to Clarkson by Jeremy Clarkson… his mind would be awash with bad metaphors, unsustainable reactionary opinion, one long anecdote about the time that Comedy Dave put pound coins in the urinal. In short, the man who had read everything published today would be more stupid than a man who had read nothing.
– Stewart Lee
Source: jordanholder Reblogged from: jordanholder

On a Wednesday

But I felt the sick rising in me again, and I thought, what am I supposed to do? The floor is covered in sick, my clothes are covered in sick, the cat’s feet towel is a write off, frankly. The hand basin is overflowing with sick, the toilet is overflowing with sick, what am I supposed to do?
So I open my eyes, and I look down, and on my left, on the floor, kneeling down, smiling, looking up at me, was Jesus…And he was pointing at his open mouth, as if, what he wanted, was for me to vomit into the open mouth of Christ. And I looked down, and I thought ‘This can’t be right’. But he was pointing and laughing and smiling, and encouraging me. I remember he did have some history of sacrifice. So against, against my better judgement and his insistence, I vomited into the open mouth of Christ. Until the mouth of Christ was overflowing. With my sick.
– Stewart Lee (via hoth-system)
Source: hoth-system Reblogged from: hoth-system

On a Friday

Oh look, Terry Christian’s let himself go. Oh look, Morrissey’s let himself go. Oh look, Edwin Collins has let himself go. Oh look, Ray Liotta’s let himself go. Oh look, Todd Carty’s let himself go. Oh look, Leonardo Di Caprio’s let himself go. Oh look, KD Lang’s let himself go. Oh look, Hattie Jacques has let himself go. Oh look, the lead singer of UB40’s let himself go.

Oh look, Terry Christian’s let himself go.

Oh look, Morrissey’s let himself go.

Oh look, Edwin Collins has let himself go.

Oh look, Ray Liotta’s let himself go.

Oh look, Todd Carty’s let himself go.

Oh look, Leonardo Di Caprio’s let himself go.

Oh look, KD Lang’s let himself go.

Oh look, Hattie Jacques has let himself go.

Oh look, the lead singer of UB40’s let himself go.

(via thisistheidiotslantern-deactiva)

Reblogged from: thisistheidiotslantern-deactiva

On a Tuesday

On a Tuesday

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